HAPPINESS IS A WARM (GUN) BOWL OF PINIKPIKAN
REFLECTION ESSAY ON MY MEANING OF LIFE
Pinikpikan is a controversial dish from the Cordillera region. Controversial because the process of preparing the pinikpikan is cruel to animal rights advocates. Pinikpikan came from the root word “pikpik” which means to lightly tap. But far from being light, the body parts of the chicken are beaten by a piece of stick to coagulate the blood; a coup de grace to the head of the chicken ends its suffering. The feathers are then plucked, but instead of the usual boiling water to soften the feathers, they use fire to clean the feathers, giving the meat a smoky taste. The chicken is cooked like a “tinola”, sayote or chayote (Sechium edule) is added instead of green papaya, sayote tops instead of chili leaves or “dahon ng sili”, sayote being overly abundant in the Cordillera priced at five pesos per kilo. No one can really put a finger when and why the tradition of pinikpikan started; but according to a University of the Philippines- Baguio professor, anecdotal and circumstantial evidence goes back to World War 2, when food was scarce, the purpose of tapping the chicken was to somehow expand the meat.
Image from https://www.tasteatlas.com/pinikpikan
Pinikpikan is also the name of an earth music band which would blare on my speaker when I would sell dressed chicken and frozen goods inside our subdivision during the pandemic. I was happy selling on the streets because it was my form of exercise and gave me the feeling that I am not answerable to anyone. It gave me the freedom what to do with my time; my routine was sell, cook and paint. No bosses, no deadlines. I am the master of my time.
Click the link for the pinikpikan way of slaughtering chicken
Happiness is a state of comfort and ease, at the present, fleeting, without consideration of the multiple facets of life; meaning in life is belonging to and serving beyond the Self, it acknowledges the past, present, and future, the challenges and your aspirations. Sir Neil, our Economics Analysis professor always tells us to read the classics, the triumph of good versus evil plots. As future managers, we can have the balance of the corporate social responsibility, to temper greed, the balance with our companies or businesses, humanity and the environment. The purpose of this reflection is not to find the connection between happiness and meaning, but to delve deeper in our unconscious, what makes us today, how we think and interact, and to have a profound understanding of our connections with others.
Belonging
“Belonging is being in relationships where you are valued for who you are intrinsically, and where you value others as well.
But some groups and relationships deliver a cheap form of belonging. You are valued for what you believe, for who you hate, not for who you are.
True belonging springs from love. It lives in moments among individuals and it’s a choice. You can choose to cultivate belonging with others.”
In my mid- 20’s, I wanted to have an ashram for artists, poets, musicians, sculptors, romantics, misfits; a commune where everyone can live and focus on their crafts and discipline, at the same time farming their own food. A commune focusing on sustainable agriculture and seed banking; cabanas, Hobbit houses (if they fancy it, they can build it) dotting the expanse of the ashram for accommodations, atelier, and galleries.
When I was living in Baguio, I would often go to Tam- awan Artist Village, order a few beers and have political or philosophical discourses with fellow artists. Most of them though prefer the gin because it warms the body. I know a few words of their dialect, kinda difficult because it’s an amalgam of Ilocano, Kankana-ey, and Ibaloi. The first word I learned was “ukinam”, back in 2018, on my first sortie and survey of the city if living there is good and affordable. My grasp of the local dialect is sparse but feel a sense of belonging, maybe because we are kindred spirits, dreamers, and romantics who communicate with our hearts. Tam-awan artists like Django Bakunawa and Sheela Ming helped me prepare food for my exhibit at the National Commission on Culture and the Arts Gallery of Baguio Museum on my solo show.
Pinikpikan is an acquired taste, especially that etag or salted pork (some even have maggots on it) is sometimes added to enhance the umami flavor. Outside of the Cordillerans, only a few people would appreciate pinikpikan if you have witnessed or aware of its preparation. A preparation so unique that it can never be found elsewhere in the archipelago; and along with it will be pinuneg or blood sausage, and kini- ing or smoked meat.
Pinikpikan is an allusion to the bizarre, maybe draconian to the uninitiated, the uniqueness of the culture and the people which shares it, to which I feel, I belong.
Purpose
“Purpose is less about what you want than about what you give.”
“The Key to Purpose is using your strength to serve others”.
The way I see purpose in life would stop people on their tracks, may end all arguments about existential questions; the Quranic verse is specific.
“And I did not create jinn and mankind except to worship me” 51:56
I was an agnostic for the most part of my youth. I became a Muslim partly because of the “terrorist” reputation of Islam peddled by Hollywood and the Western media, especially after 9/11; I wanted to add bomb-making to my skill set and sell to politicians, and businessmen. I already know the ratio of ANFO (ammonium nitrate fuel oil) in college and wanted to know about remote detonation using phones and C4.
I studied in the Middle East in an Islamic center owned by a Saudi national who is a military official, most of the teachers or ustadj are Filipinos. A misogynist religion (according to misinformed groups, individuals and “strong independent women”) that outlines the rights of women in Sura An Nisa, nisa in Arabic means women, it calls for justice and equality towards the vulnerable in society. I thought Jesus and Islam are dichotomies; and who would have thought that a sub- book or surah is dedicated to the Virgin Mary, Surah Maryam. They taught us to honor our parents, to respect people even if they are of different beliefs. They taught us how to read and write in Arabic. Lunch is my most favorite part of the day with the quintessential chicken kabsa courtesy from the owner of the madrasa or school.
Apart from the Islamic standpoint of the purpose of life, I really don’t know what I’m for. Maybe it’s the reason why I am a nomad, always searching for something. A haiku I wrote two decades ago after having coffee with Bianca might synthesize how I look into life.
people waste their lives,
asking, LIFE?, after all is
a cup of coffee.
An addendum to the meaning of my purpose can also be read at the Storytelling topic.
Transcendence
“Transcendence means when you are lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life. Your sense of Self fades away and you are connected to a higher reality.”
I would often stay inside my apartment in Baguio on a painting marathon without going out for days, fridge filled to the brim. Soaked in the moment, oblivious of what is happening outside of my own personal sanctuary; it is at these moments that I am very happy, humming while painting, expressing my thoughts and emotion. Maybe it’s more than transcendence, but a state of shibumi; an effortless perfection to attain my lofty ideals for a not so perfect society.
I am on my sixteenth month here in Iloilo. No lovelife and or sexlife; a self imposed celibacy, devoting my time to school, work and my small business, transcending over the mediocrity and the banality of girls lacking class, acumen and wit. Always believing that I am destined to a higher calling, for someone with high intellect, breeding, of noble birth, someone to bankroll my version of Green School; a corollary to my Storytelling.
Storytelling
“The story you tell your Self about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how You became you. But we don’t always realize we are the authors of our own stories and can change the way we’re telling them. Your life isn’t just a list of events. You can edit, interpret and retell your story even if you are constrained by facts.”
In 2005, I was invited by Al Tesoro, Capiz Provincial Tourism Officer, to co- facilitate a theater workshop in Sigma, Capiz; the main facilitator was Lutgardo “Gardy” Labad. On the final day, Gardy asked us to handle a grouping and craft a presentation. I finished my conceptualization in five minutes; using chairs, I gave my own rendition to Ricky Lee’s book on scriptwriting, Trip to Quiapo. A book I purchased when I was still dabbling on experimental and indie films and a short stint with Mowell Fund. Quiapo, my haunts when I was still a shutterbug, looking for bargains and deals on cameras at Hidalgo Street. I like teaching kids and can often be found in communities conducting theater and painting workshops.
My path to discernment, if not satori, is circuitous. Like the third “tripper” or writer in Ricky Lee’s book, my trip has been full of adventures and mishaps, tears and laughter. It was easy and fast for me to conceptualize the storytelling part because it resonates with me the “trip” of the third protagonist.
I dream of having an international school like the Green School in Bali, Indonesia. Teaching the cream of the crop of society in terms of intellect, innovation, and the passion to care for the earth would be an honor. The Green School in Bali is a wall- less school using bamboo as the material for the buildings. The children are taught how to grow their own food, very essential for a society to survive; students make their own soap and their own chocolates. I used to have a one- hundred square meters of aquaponics system with around five hundred tilapias. My produce are lettuce, pechay, chilis, tomatoes and kangkong, a produce so plenty I have to sell and give most of them. My Green School will be the hub of innovation and discoveries to end hunger, to free household from corporate dependence on their survival, to grow their own food and harness their own energy. Life isn’t just about living, or surviving; it should be of love, sharing, belonging, of fun, and a sense of security.
My experience in agriculture was inculcated early on, not a doomsday prepper kind of thing. I am a graduate of Agri- Science High School where we have a unique curriculum, mostly research, subjects are Plant and Animal Physiologies, Soil Science, feed formulation (Pearson Square, and Trial and Error Method). Statistics is taught in the second year to prepare you for your thesis, and to graduate, you have to defend two theses. Most of our teachers have doctorates from University of the Philippines- Los Baños.
Also, I love working with bamboo (not the singer artist) or other indigenous materials. My three- storey house in Capiz is fifty percent bamboo, it has a “silong” that serves as the living room, a tribute to Bobby Mañosa’s design of the bahay kubo.
Like a Ghurka, I would offer my skill set to politicians who has the wealth and power to bank roll my Green School; procurement of mercenaries, image packaging, anything that needs to be done for a successful political exercise. I once wrote a proposal to a congressman to distribute school bags to pupils and students, organized scholars and a signature campaign to petition to provide scholarships to all college students in his district.
A cabinet secretary who was a classmate of my father in college ran for governor. My friends asked me to broker two platoons of mercenaries to secure his win. And so I approached the candidate, and he said, Okay, let’s meet again tomorrow at a mayors’ house. At the mayors’ house, he was busy meeting with barangay captains so he asked his campaign manager, a former governor, to talk to me. We met at the study room of the mayor and I told the ex- governor I need twenty million for the operation. He asked me where I’d get my men; I told him it’s a trade secret. When he could not squeeze any information from me, he told me they don’t have money and it’s only for volunteerism. I told him the candidate was okay with my proposal and he was just there to oversee it, unless of course the ex- gov wants the whole cake for himself. We had a heated discussion, shouting at each other, the commotion reaching the meeting outside. Mercenaries as volunteers? Funny. So I told my friends about the incident. We were laughing, and snickering like Timon and Pumba.
And whoever said that money is not important and can’t buy you happiness is either a charlatan or naïve. Money will buy me my Grumbacher paints and canvasses. Money will buy me a Nikon D810. It can buy me an ashram, bank roll my Green School.
Money can buy me two cups of coffee and a plane ticket to go to Kay. It can buy me gas stations and position them in front, back and sides of hers, and plant them all with roses if she will not give in to my invitation to have a cup of coffee, or a bowl of pinikpikan.
When I hold you in my arms (ooh, oh, yeah)
And I feel my finger on your trigger (ooh, oh, yeah)
Pinikpikan is a symbolism of my ideals, my meaning and purpose in life (or the lack of it). Eccentric, somewhat violent, whimsical. Quotidian people might turn up their noses on my unorthodox ways, might look down on me from their high horses. “Sometimes the world does not need another hero, sometimes what it needs is a monster”, a quote I love from Dracula Untold. I really don’t care about their opinions; they don’t add value to my pursuit of happiness, or meaning for that matter. You’d never arrive at your destination on time if you didn’t ignore the barking dogs on your path.
If you see smoke and hear the gangsa or gongs in the Cordilleras, it means that there is a celebration for the community, often with the quintessential “watwat” and pinikpikan. In the spirit of ug-ugfu or bayanihan, the people would flock and help with the chores like slaughtering of animals, prepping the venue, bringing in banana trunks as plates, making tapu’ey or rice wine. Pinikpikan symbolizes a communal banquet of sharing, collaboration and thanksgiving; an invitation to partake to a blessed and meaningful life.
first image https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/584693964109563116/